fuckyou.

ABORTABORTABORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 21:48:49 GMT

new new new journal.

this one is old old old, and now dead dead dead!

[ps. this weekend was amazing.]

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 20:13:53 GMT

everyday in votech i see jimmy antonis, that makes me love life.
hi mom.
last night craigs was reeal fun i liked it alot.
thats it.

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 19:42:27 GMT

so pretty much the word amazing amazes me, and well i use it alot.

"thats sorta ironic"
"thats amazing wtf"

i see the ravens alot now.

my friends dont approve of things i like.

right now i know that im not leaving tonight because i have to clean and pack my room so i can fuckin move "fuckinnnnn A" and thats pissing me off cause all i want to do right now is go sit outside the mall for a fucking hour, with afton and adelino and mattpark and ben and bright eyes and malachi, and all them, and doing nothing thats exciting but somehow, i still would kill to do that. and im not and its pretty lame.

kdansifbasdohf i started votech today, it was amazing alli wasent there so i was all alone, but still the class is fucking so laid back and chill i love it, even tho this girl almost kicked my ass cause she didnt like the way i said door, but besides that its amazing and its going to be an easy ass year. and il only continue to like it if alli goes cause i cant handle being alone all the other girls there fuckin creep me the fuck out.

fuckidy fuck. i wish afton went to my school id like that.

id also like to say that i cant keep secrets, even my own its funny, cause i tell everyone things i didnt want people to know..but oh well nothing THAT bad is coming out of it.

i watched rich get his tattoo yesterday, i left right before rob got his, but im sure it looks amazing, cause riches looked sweeeett. it made me want a tattoo realll bad so now im gonna heve to get one. then adelino got me fromt he tattooo place, went to the mall sawww ben bright eyes dale mike and malachhii they were all really retarded and malachi and dale freaked me out so bad i just wanted to cry. we played at the arcade, cause we are so amazingly sweet liek that. blah blah stuf stuf stuf then i came home, and i was sick all night and i didnt sleep at all.

i went to school today sick 1st period was fine, second period, i flipped out, i saw the test sitting in front of me and i got so overwhelmed with god knows what that i started balling. so i slept it off in gym.

i miss hanging out with people i used to. (even tho i love who i hang out with now, i miss my old friends..)

like my old old friends. and my sorta old friends. wtf?

i miss fuckin hira.

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 00:44:10 GMT

afton
bebe
becky
kate
brittney
rhai
mattpark
rob
rich
tino
adelino
malachi
benN
bright eyes
joey
craig
drewbie
h/mallboy
will
amber
alexis
josh
andrew
kayla

thats who i saw yesterday.

ilovedmostofthem

schoool is swweeet.

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 00:01:06 GMT

this is going to be hte easiest school year ever...well my guidens person said to just get and excuse from gym forever..so no more gym... im in interegrated math, cp english and and normal history..its really as easy as it gets, and votech.

well since beaver is hte awsome school it is, and decides to go back before the rest of beaver county..we dont start vo-tech till the 1st...so we have from 1130-230 to do.. nothing.. so we can just go home at 11 30.

so pretty much i dont start school till the first. allison is in all my classes. beckys in some..andys in NONE. everyone except becky is in b lunch...uhmm i like little boys. i hate little girls.

someone pick me up from school around 11 30 tomorrow

afton comes home tomorrrowwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last night of summer?!

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 03:54:23 GMT

today was so beyond amazing it was ridiculous, i felt like i was in last summer, everyone one i was with todya i totally adore, and all the kids i hate werent there it was amazing.. today was perfect nothing could have ruined it. yeah. it almost made up ffor the rest of the sumemr being lame. the ravens were with us tdya i like them alot they are all mazing.. and adelino and tino insisted on calling bright eyes jason, so it felt even more like last summer.. amazing amazing.

we sang all day to everything, we made a huge like 30 person single file line.. i heard the p5 song and it was jsut all about old times.. like when rich and tino drank a whole bottle of wine.. then me and kate we jsut weird.. aoshfd'iasdfh wow today makes me happy

ps..im a stupid little girl and i have a crush a real big one. and i miss feeling all giddy like this, i love it so much :) (yeah, hes younger than me) <3 haha

i just posted i dont care.

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 05:47:51 GMT

haha i like this kid alot, hes younger than me..im lame.

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 03:58:17 GMT

guys, "im a toxic person, watch out or il suck you into my sickness."

12 year olds stuck in a 43 year old body, are really really sweet, let me tell you.

well today was gay real gay i woke up to kate crying, cause im never allwoed to see her again cause im such a horrible influence blah blha (yeah debbie i bet your reading this..FUCKYOU!) anyway matt and rob and joey came and got me, then the day got alot better.

i go back to school in like 3 fucking days er somthing like that...real gay, but that also means afton comes home in like 3 days..so its good.

the ravens are nice to me now.

yeah thats it.

i quit smoking.

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 02:45:12 GMT

yay.

lately all i do is see becky/kate and mattpark. and all those moon kids.

last night adelino went straight edge, me and mattpark quit smoking rich said "fuck that".

today i didnt feel like exsisting so i didnt go anywere, mattpark came over at liek 9 and we chilled here and i complained to him for like an hour, and he jut sat and listened cause hes the best friend ever.

im real upset about shit i didnt think id care about, adelino called it, acctaully everyone except myself called it.

becky i love you but damn im dissapointed... er

last night i decided i love mattpark and adelino and drew and rich. we walked threw housing plans like losers and just sat in someone yard for liek an hour.

if you hate everything about me and im annoying, thats cool but shutup and keep it to yourself you shady mother fucker.

my turtle is gonna live to be 50 years old.

scene kids.

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 04:34:09 GMT

yesterday i chilled with alli all day then becky all night.
matt park and albert woke me up this morning, becky went home, the three of us went to moonish area got josh and rob saw some other peopel, came to matts with them matt albert rob josh adelino rich scotty and zar, then went back to moon met up with more people..blah blah blah so much shit happened.

today was very fun.

im still not wearing shoes.

"coke head whore"

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 18:39:50 GMT

oh wow life i love you.

calling me a coke head does not upset me enither does calling me a whore.

i like becky
i like afton
i like kate
i like alli
i like bebe
i like mattpark
i like robert
i like richard
i like timmy
i like kyle
i like jordan

if you arent them, sucks.

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 04:09:18 GMT

i just thought id let you all know today was very icky, then at the end it was sweet cause mattpark and i are boycotting shoes.

yeah.

ilikelivejournaldramafrom3000milesaway.

bipolar whattt

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 22:25:39 GMT

tino and rob are ass holes... matt said the following joke..

"what do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection"
the answer was a quarter pounder with cheese.

BUT of course they said christy.

wow i love my friends they are so nice.

i saw devil rejects with mattpark and rob an joey last nigth, mattpark payed for all four of us cause he found moneys, after the movie people were outside liek waiting for us (tino dan josh and brittney) blah nbalhbasdfahsd mattpark brought me home, i love him i love rob too.

kay

number 12 looks like you is tonight

2nd entry today.

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 06:39:55 GMT

nothing is the same nothing is fucking right everything is flipped around no one is themselves i dotn see my friends anymore everything is falling apart its fucking falling apart, im fucking freakin out.

i just want everyone to fucking die that wasent around last summer, all i want is last summer, it was so much better all i fucking want is everyone to like everyone again, i dont want fucking people to fight all the time, and people to get shot in the eye, then people get kicked out then move away and act shady, i dont want my best friends to be mad at me or be in florida, i dont want my two old best friends to not be my best friends, i dotn want to not have a boyfriend, i dont want kyle to go away, i do want to be who i am i want to be me last summer i was so happy and i slept in allis yard. it was the shit. i dont wanna smoke, i dont wanna do drugs, i dont wanna be broke, i just want last summer, thats all i fucking want. i want to go back to last valentines day when i met rich and adelino and they posed for us to take pictures, i want to go back to when me and alli and rich and keith hung out, i want to go back to alli with black hair i want to be in cranberry every day, i want hira to fuckin live here. i want to stop wanting so much. i want this summer to be at least half as cool as last summer. i want to hang out with andrew. (wow i cant bleive i jsut said that) i want to go to gay brians haha i want to go to the waterhole all the time and i want to just be fucking happy, not this fucking fake happy, this shitty as happy i put on for everyone to think im happy and to think im having a good time and to think i like my life, well really i fucking hate all this fucking shit im never fucking happy, at any point in the day you see me im proabbly ready to fucking explode and im proabbly ready to kill somone or just start crying. im not fucking happy with my life im not happy with my friends, i barely see them, im not fucking happy with the shit im doing, im not happy with the fact that i know im going to poor for my life because im an idiot and i wont go to school and i wotn get a good job, im not fucking happy that josh is liek moving or somthign, im not happy that alli isnt my best friend, im not happy that becky isnt my best friend, im not cool with not seeing mattpark, im not cool with kyle leaving, im not cool with not seeing rob im not cool with rich having a fucked up eye because people are stupid, im jsut not cool with everythign, i hate that everyones a whore now. i ahte that thigns change, i hate that iv changed, i hate this entry its pointless depressing and i doubt anyone is reading all this rambling. i could go on. but my hands hurt, and im not making sense.

fuck

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 04:38:11 GMT

i dont remember much but il try..

iv seen kyle alot.
some day i hung out with kate kari and malachi and mike, then i saw craig i love him he drew peppers on me and made me eat realyl hott pepers. we went to c-berry..went to wallmart which had no seeds MTOHER FUCKERS. brought kair home. stayed at the c-berry house, watched texas chainsaw masacre while i was pretty high and i was so freaked out i jsut wanted to cry i went on the computer and just freaked out..

woke up today at like 1 me and kate decided we wanted to go to the zoo..we went to the zoo, we also decided we wanted to go to kenny wood, so we went there too. in this one line this heard of loud black girls were behind us, they made me feel like i was on a bad trip or somthign i jsut wanted to flip out all the time i was so scraed and me and kate just stood there and freaked out for like 45 mins in the line.

kate is scared of those werid monkeys. fer real.

MATTPARK COMES HOME TOMROROW THATS ALL THAT MATTERS.

aftonimissyoubapdhf'oad

people are leaving and not coming back, shady shady shady, im glad im not wasting my time with people anymore. fuck all you shady bastards. <3

"wtf is in canada WHO THE FUCK goes to canada nothings there.."
"yeah huh, craig is there"
"what?!"
"you know from degrassi"
<3333333333

bipolar bitch.

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:30:08 GMT

jordan is still in the hospital they lied to us YOU FUCKS!

kyle is going back to maryland soon then i wont see him till our vacation, so hes staying here for a few days cause ima miss him too much. i hate that he lives in maryland, i hate that i ever left there, i hate that he ever moved here then back, its fucking annoying to have someone as perfect as him but he lives in another fucking state. and only comes here once or twice a month, i fucaihg'iuagfuafgia AHhh.

okay anyway im sick of everyone doing coke its getting real fucking annoying <3 hahahah

me and kate bred smack and blow they had babies (youl never know)

i got paid to hang out with ned today <33 hahaha

i havent been hanging out with everyone i normally do i like it, but i hate it, i love that im haning out with the kids i am cause i love them, but i really miss everyone else, i dont go to the waterhole much, no one does. i miss my friends.

everyone is being shady people are fucking leaving NOT sayingg goodbye, being total assholes when they used to be the nicest kids i knew?!

i talked to rikki today she knows whats goin on.

imiss mattpark, he seemed to hold shit together then he left and shit went insane...COME HOME MATTPARK.

myspace is dead.

im thinking a million and one things at once, i want to say im really happy but then i might be lieing i dont know what i am, im sick of being broke im sick of spending my money that i do have on what i spend it on. im real sick of being 16 im sick of this summer i want last summer and i want it now. this summer is dramatic and depressing, no one gets along anymore, ever. last summer everyone could hang out and no one fought really, this summer is just chaos. i really want to shit talk people in this entry but im not gonna his life doesnt need to suck jsut cause hes an asshole.

i hate this summer myspace killed the happieness.
i acctually want school to start just so i can chill with alli every day at votech.

i really do hate you i just pretend to be nice to you.

rob you upset me i hope you see this.

kyles satanic lizard is now MY satanic lizard, yes its now mine im very happy.

iv been reall fuckin bi polar lately im like crying over nothing, i sit there to thinkl whats wrong.. and i cant come up with anything..im getting really pissed off over nothing and then all the sudden il be giddy then il put a fucking hole in the wall.

im moving to bt. BULL SHIT fuck that i hate it there why the fuck cant we move some were far away like maryland or even closer to robinson (even tho everyones being shady there)

i really do love my life, but i really do hate it.

i really fucking hate drugs and money right now too. ahhhhhhhhh. fuck life. fuckidy fuck.

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 04:01:52 GMT

what is with everyone doing coke, seriously.

lifeisgood.

kyle got out today. jordan is supposed to get out tomorrow. im with kyle now. he brought me flowers, to say hes sorry for scaring me...who the hell does that for real. i love him more than your life is worht and i cant wait to move back to maryland with him for the rest of my short little life.

iv been hangning out with kate alot, its dandy i love her and chillaxen with her.

I SAW MALACHI today it was lovely.

i saww bebe the other day it was also lovely absfudfga i lvoe her.

imissafton still.

i made up with rhai thigns are improving.

fuck smoking why the hell did i start doing that, i spend 150 bucks a month,,(thanks tim)

i need a job. i need to be 18 and get move to maryland.

RICH i hope you feel okay..blahhh.

i leave for vacation on the 18 for 5 days with kyle and jordan im pumped.

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 17:33:11 GMT

yesterday was sad.

the end.

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 03:14:59 GMT

im sick [gthanks.]

today i woke up at 6 15 to wake kate up,, then i went back to sleep till liek 3 went and saw kyle and jordan in the hospital and it was really funny cause kyle sounds retarded. and jordan was talkin :)

then i came home and i slept forever cause im sick then marcus came over and we watched requiem and smoked lotsa weed.

yesterday was sweet i hung out with kate and i loved it, ROB was back i hung out with him, and josh and DAN MUNROE and joe was there, and ryan hall for a lil, and yeah blah blah.
iuno i had fun just cause i was with kate and i saw robert, at some point during the night i drank "blunt water" and rob called it that and for some reason i laughed real long about that, and writing it just made me laugh. okay yea. josh and dan sat in the car and rolled a blunt in front of joes house, inside joes house was some get together for his family casue someone was going to harverd ironic.

imissafton

and mattpark he called me today hes not comin home till like sunday..thats fuckin gay.

yeah i sorta even miss rhai. even if she hates me. i miss her but iuno what happening.

I MISS MALACHI TOO.

babys got a temper.

Sun, 31 Jul 2005 04:47:39 GMT

everyone needs to involve themselves in thier lives, while your all fucking busy watching and bitching at me for my life, your life is slowly drifting away, you need a life, [seriously] your all going to be on your death bed then get smacked with reality and realize you wasted your life watching other peoples lives and wanting theres, or fucking up theres. THEN youl die. so please stay out of my drama, my life, my problems, my relationships, my everything, if it doesnt directly involve you then shut the fuck up seriously. you probably think this is about you, well it probably is since EVERYONE gets involved with my shit.

and just because you could beat the living hell out of me DOES NOT give you the right to run your mouth about me, iv NEVER said shit about you so the fact that you lie to my friends just to get them to hate me JUST SO THEY CAN BE ON YOUR SIDE OF THIS SHIT [which you shouldnet even be involved in] shows how immature you are and it makes me happy we arent friends anymore. im not so low that im going to lie about you seriously. if you want people to hate me at least say somthign true.

oh and im home from vacation now, i really didnt do anything since iv been home sept see mark for a litle, but hopefully il see everyone worth seeing tomorrow. and i still really miss afton. really bad, i know that NO MATTER WHAT i could never dislike her, and thats one friend i know il have for a long ass time.

and everyone whos saying shit about me and drugs, lay off it you all do them i dont want to hear it. im done denying stuff whatever fuck you. AND the shit with me being a slut, i fucked one person in my life that i wasent dating and 3 total, im sorry i didnt know that was a slut GOOD TO KNOW.

EDITMOTHERFUCKINEDIT: seeing peoples reaction from the latest drama in my life makes me realze who is worth keeping around.. example: rob and josh BOTH scream and yell at me i started to cry then they are like shut up im just kidding i dont care at all. afton, giggles...PEOPLE WORTH CARING AABOUT. THEN there are people who blow me off and stop talking to me and talk shit on me when they already knew about it but hey had to be a little clone. PEOPLE NOT WORTH CARING ABOUT.

KTHANKS

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 17:53:17 GMT

AFTON COME HOME NOW.

KTHANKS.

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 17:40:18 GMT

2 of my really really really close friends (kyle and jordan) are in the hospital right now, from oding on corosidin, so if i find out anymore of my friends do that fucking worthless peice of shit drug, im done taalking to you..

kthanks.

oh ps im home

Sun, 24 Jul 2005 04:32:28 GMT

i got to see josh and rich tonight theyre home, they came and got me this afternoon, i was quite happy,
and matt park and dan munroe.

lovee

im going on vacation now.
see you in a week

ima miss you <3

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 04:53:48 GMT

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

i havent been home in a while iv been with my best friend rhai.
AND kayla and leia, and blah blha more silly boy people that arent cool enought to mention. and mattpark hes for real cool.

ANYWAY. me and my best friend WHOS BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY, are going to nc saturday. so i better see everyone whos not allreayd on vacation tomorrow.

i miss rich and josh and tino and joe, and ROB whos not even gone i just havent seen him in a few days.

everything is so ggood im not fighting with anyone except people that are 14 stupid and everyone hates so its not causeing any problems, get you own idenity amber your a fucking peice of shit and your friend needs to shut her fucking mouth and stop lieing about everything, and if want to fucking hit me your an idiot, i hate you i hope you get crucified.

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 20:52:13 GMT

well everyone is leaving, rich and josh are in sc, afton is in florida, rob and danny and matt are all going to sc and nc soon. but i am going to so whatever.

but i miss afton like hell.
rhai is at her camp till tomorrow so i miss her too.

but i dont know when afton will be home so that makes it a million times worse i dont like it.

im real sick today and last night, im staying home tonight hopeing tommorrow il be all be better, its one of those, if you move the slightest bit youl throw up sicks. so yeah.

stuff is so much better with me and everyone around me i can hang out with all my friends now no matter who there with and im alright.

sometimes sucking up your pride and doing somthing you wouldent ever normally do is a good thing. im never nice and never appologize, and the first time i do, stuff got alot better. so yea.

monday is a show, tuesday is tegan and sarah, wendsday is strike anywere then saturday is ozzfest, then i leave for a week.